i need an iv and a liver transplant
please come you make the beer taste better
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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