i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize