dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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