He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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