u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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