I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize