This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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