I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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