remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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