you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
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Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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