Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize