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the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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