Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
did you just send me my own nude
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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