Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize