Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize