Just fell off a train. Bad.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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