You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
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