so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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