So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize