Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize