I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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