Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize