the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize