he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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