I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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