so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize