we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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