If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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