I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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