just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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