Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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