i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
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We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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