I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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