cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
True college students do jello shots in the library
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize