yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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