guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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