...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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