I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize