I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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