Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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