Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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