youre lurking in front of me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize