I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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