Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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