Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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