i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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