He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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