You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize