OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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