Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
love makes seman taste better
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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